Emma James writes creative character profiles that reflect her observations of society and human interaction.
“Oh my god! I just smoked the wrong end of a cigarette you guys! Where can we taxi from? Where is the taxi rank!”
Blonde babe who is hunting for the taxi rank is wearing a little black dress, heels in hand, too much makeup put on last weekend and so much pristine elegance I am in awe of this tasteful display. She makes me want to sit at high tea with a cucumber sandwich and hold a tea cup with my pinkie finger raised.
Living in Melbourne is entertaining. Being up and awake to watch the riff raff on a Sunday morning at 9am is even better.
And in question to your question, are you taking the taxi to the fiery pits of Hell? Or have you just been there, because the sun is up, I am eating eggs and you’re in an altered state at the sunny side of 8am? She’s either on the journey home or on her way to an audition for Tasmania’s hottest strip club and I hope it’s the latter, because this is the kind of look you don’t ever want to take off! Stop guzzling down booze and tell the taxi driver to take you straight to rehab because you are a Lohan-level mess.
Haven’t we all been B.B once or twice in years gone by? (Read: last Sunday) It starts off innocently enough; few wines at this establishment, few jager-bombs at that one, next thing you’re sending a random ‘heeyyyy’ text to your old boss Carol and trying to convince the guy at the next table that you are in fact sober. Those brilliant plans to be home as the clock strikes midnight are clouded by alcohol intolerance and a nose dive of self-esteem. Pride and elegance take a left turn into nowhere land whilst intelligent conversation throws down his script saying “I quit!”
Oh to be young and foolish... or just exceptionally foolish.
Now she has her mitts on a bottle of Jack Daniels.
“If I can skull this in 10 seconds I will run naked down the street and you can all film it!”
Word to the wise, always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.