Juliet Allen has a passion for sex. The renowned Brisbane sexologist had a chat with mous. this week about just what it’s like to live, breathe and teach sex for a living.
It was after watching the film ‘Kinsey’, about the pioneering researcher on human sexuality Alfred Kinsey, that Juliet realised she should to turn her passion for sex into a career. With a Bachelor of Psychology already under her belt, it was within days that she had enrolled in a Masters in Sexology.
Although technically a university background is essential in becoming a sexologist, Juliet says “I believe that personal life experience, an open mind, and an ability to explore diverse sexual experiences are what make for a great sexologist.”
Sexology is the study and science of sex. A typical work day for Juliet involves coaching with her clients, answering questions on the Ansell Sexology Q&A, writing various blog posts and running educational events. “Chuck in being a mum and drinking lots of coffee and my life is pretty damn great.”
Juliet’s style of coaching focusses more on “empowering women to embrace their sexuality, own their sexual desires and explore having as much hot sex as they so desire!
“Often my clients are looking for someone they can trust, who they can chat to confidentially about their sexuality, sexual desires, troubles with their partner, or troubles finding a partner. I help my clients identify how they want to feel and what they want to experience, and make a plan of attack as to how they can have that in their life.”
Juliet says sex and sexuality have always been of interest to her,“I’ve always been fascinated by sex, sexuality and everything in between, so sexology seemed like the perfect career and life move for me.” When asked what working with sex for a living had done to her own sex life, she laughed, explaining that “everyone assumes my sex life is amazing, and that I’m some sort of sex fiend.
“But let’s be honest, I’m a human just like you and my sex life is a journey and has definitely had its ups and downs over the years. As a sexologist I need to allow myself to be adventurous and try new things, but also realise that sometimes all I want is a cuddle and kiss and intimacy.
“I’m lucky enough to say I really enjoy sex and that I will never settle for sex that doesn’t feel amazing.”
One of the issues commonly discussed with her clients is the female orgasm. Juliet says, “women seem to put a lot of pressure on themselves to reach orgasm. It’s common for women to come to me and say they want to cum to ‘please their partner’. My answer to that is that women have to want to cum to please themselves, not somebody else.
“I think the biggest barrier is not knowing your body and not knowing what feels good. I’m a big fan of masturbation; if you can pleasure yourself and discover what feels good, you can go ahead and show your lover how they can pleasure you. Take control over your orgasm and everything else will follow.”
We asked Juliet if she had any sneaky tips you guys could use this week, and these are the delights she’s given us.
Sneaky tip #1 – Buy yourself some organic coconut oil and give yourself a genital massage, or give one to your lover. Coconut oil smells and feels amazing and always leads to hot sex (with yourself and others)! Coconut oil is my favourite lubricant.
Sneaky tip #2 – Masturbate in a new location (this could be simply moving from the bedroom to the lounge room or, if you’re feeling super adventurous, you can up the ante and try the car or work toilets (I know, naughty, naughty).
Find her on Facebook or follow her on Instagram @juliet_allen