Being single on Valentine’s Day isn’t for the faint hearted. But don’t worry, there are still a lot of rad things you can do if you find yourself single on Valentine’s Day like myself. Behold the list of nine.
1. Eat junk food, drink wine and watch The Notebook / Friend with Benefits / Clueless / insert your movie of choice here with friends
This was my Valentine’s Day last year. Me and my single or abandoned-on-the-most-import-day-of-the-bloody-year friends got together and ordered pizza, got KFC, doritos and M&Ms and watched a stupid girly movie just for the fun of it. We choose Magic Mike but your options are (almost) endless. The more shirtlessness the better I say.
2. Drink wine and re-evaluate your New Year’s Resolutions
If learning piano, having no credit card debt and being able to do a handstand in yoga were your New Years’ resolutions (no, just me?) and you’ve made no progress on them, then Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to take stock of what you might actually be able to achieve this year. (hint: learning to buy clothes that don’t need to be ironed is a good one. Easy to achieve and is actually helpful to your day to day existence). There is no better combination than drinking alone on V Day and realising you’ve made no steps towards your unrealistic goals, trust me.
3. Live tweet your tinder
Why not arrange ten new tinder dates for the same time and place, and watch chaos ensue as the poor gents/ladies turn up to a communal table for ten. Sit at a table nearby, drinking wine, live tweeting the whole thing to prove that you are not alone on Valentine’s Day. #notaloneonvday
4. Drink wine and binge watch a series
I’m beginning to notice all of these involve wine, but never mind, we plough on. Take that bottle of wine and your Netflix or illegally downloaded (me, no, never) series and own that couch. I recommend Suits, because then you can internally debate whether or not you’d rather bang Harvey or Mike. We all want to say Mike, but the truth is we’d probably all do Harvey if he even breathed in our direction.
5. Run your local florist out roses
OK so this one may take more planning that the 1.5 days you now have left. Remember it for next year. For days and weeks leading up to the big day, call all the florists in your area and order all of the roses. All of the roses that they can possibly provide. Leave none for anyone else.
6. Make potpourri
The key here is to use all the roses your housemate / sister / neighbour got given for Valentine’s Day as the basis for your potpourri – or even all of the roses you pre-ordered above come to think of it. The joy of chopping them up will really add something to the end result. As an added bonus with this one, you are then set for birthday gifts for the next few months and your mum will love it. You can also drink wine while doing this one if you like. Up to you.
7. Get your design on
Make use of those amateur photoshop skills you have and re-create your past. Take all the old photos of you and past partners and then google search Brad Pitt / the actor who plays Harvey Specter / Justin Bieber (again, no, just me?). I think you can see where this is going. Soon you will have a whole new array of pictures of you dating your specimen of choice. Maybe even take the next step and print some and frame them or email them to your mum for the family newsletter.
8. Buy ear wax candles and give yourself the clean out you deserve
Be honest. They were big in the 90s, you’ve seen them and you’ve always wanted to try them. Pick up a pair of those bad boys and a lighter and soon you’ll be hearing things people only write about in books. Like the sound of your phone ringing off the hook with Valentine’s Day invites.
9. Go out and do something you’ve never done before
Why not use your day of FREEDOM to go and do something you have never done before? Some suggestions could include sky diving, getting a tattoo, stealing a car*, booking a holiday overseas, registering for a marathon (do not do this one if you have been drinking the wine), baking a cake or writing a novel.
That’s nine suggestions of awesome things you can do instead of mulling over about being single on V Day and I’m sure there are tonnes more. If you need me, you can find me baking a cake in my iron-free clothes with ear wax candles in while the smell of potpourri wafts through the house. And drinking wine.
*pls don’t actually steal a car.