From a young age, I was aware that romantic relationships weren't always exclusive to the traditional just-you-and-me. However, my appreciation of the reasons why was evidently a reflection of just how naïve I was. I understood the concept of whorish betrayal (Jude Law, exhibit A), the difficulty of a love triangle and even to some degree, the intrigue of a most erotic ménage à trois. What I couldn't wrap my barely pubescent head around was the notion of being in love with more than one person. There's no Disney movie about that bombshell. For years I was sceptical; convinced that it's simply greedy to want two soul mates.
Now, at the carnally ripe age of eighteen, I see the world a little differently. If sitcoms have taught me anything, it's that you can't control who you want, or when you want them (sometimes the greasy alleyway behind Maccas seems picturesque enough). People can only offer so many goods and services, and clearly sometimes one person isn't capable of producing the versatility needed to satisfy your many desires. While I was starting to get a feel for the whole multi-faceted love agenda I definitely needed some clarification, because as much as I pretended I wasn't a mainstream conservative traditionalist - I was. You-and-me: that was my one and only lovey-dovey philosophy.
"Polys are faced with an incessant slurping of gratuitous put downs like ‘slut’, ‘whorebag’ and so on..."
In talking to some of the polyamory peeps here in Melbourne I discovered that I was so wrong. I was shitting myself stupid if I thought you couldn't love two people in equal measure. There's a big poly community out there, so clearly the gig has something going for it. I asked some of the community what it was about being in a polyamorous relationship that they found so enticing, and so homey. One answer I received touched on the restrictive nature of monogamous relationships and the gorgeous freedom that skips so convivially alongside the polygamous love in. Furthermore, the polyamorous lovers seem to be on the right track in recognising the depth of intimacy that comes with not having to be ashamed or dishonest about what and who you hanker for. So often in monogamous relationships we find ourselves nauseated by our own sexual and romantic cravings, and worried sick by our fantasies. We are indeed restricted because, generally speaking, the idea of revealing intimate thoughts about another person to your spouse is effectively synonymous with breaking their precious heart.
Poly is a culture of acceptance, but there is still such a negative stigma attached to their free-flowing lifestyle. Traditionalists seem to have this bastardised vision of how everything ought to be, a vision so narrow it can't possibly grasp how the other half lives. Poly doesn't even seem to make it into the peripheral sphere. Polys are faced with an incessant slurping of gratuitous put downs like ‘slut’, ‘whorebag’ and so on - basically, their love affairs are regarded with roughly the same reverence as those of a teenage girl.
An old cliché once noted that "three's a crowd". But I can guarantee you that there are hundreds of thousands of miserable and horny folk out there jacking off or rubbing one out to a "Fantasy HD threesome" flick right now. My question is, if tight clit Crystal, big tits Brittany and some guy (whose name isn't even mentioned because his only noteworthy contributions are his beefy appendage and the occasional patch of heavy breathing), who probably haven't even exchanged last names, can get jiggy on a daybed while being filmed without an ounce of curtailment solely for the erotic pleasure of pervy weirdos like myself , then why, for the love of all things poly, is it in any way inappropriate for three (or more) people who actually love one another to be able to express themselves in a forthright and passionate fashion without the bigoted opinions of those who disapprove of said love being dispersed in a multi-directional context?
In sum, there’s a plethora of stopcocks waiting to be squeezed and caverns aching to be explored. So, if you're a pair, a trio or a mass orgy of forty five lovers in a hotbed of animalistic angst and sweat then go for it.